It's gonna take me a lot to take me away from you

Africa - Toto

            Every experience is what you want to make it. Your attitude toward the experience itself will determine whether you will live to regret it. I personally believe that if you regret an experience you didn’t take the time to learn from that experience. I don’t think I really realized this until I spend some time reflecting back on my freshmen year in college.

My freshmen year at Calvin College was not stellar by any means; yet, I was convinced that it was going to be great and so it was, in my memory at least. Being from a family of stubborn Dutch men and women I was going to love Calvin College, and so I did. My parents, my mother especially, was skeptical of my decision to attend Calvin. My dad was nervous because it was expensive; my mom was worried because she was afraid I would turn out to be a conservative Republican suburbanite. Yet, I was determined to be a Calvin College student. I wasn’t thrilled that my parents were apprehensive, but when it comes to my parents I often enjoy doing the exact opposite of what they expect—within reason of course.  What I didn’t realize though was that I thought that going to Calvin was going to allow me to escape from my boring past. I thought I was going to make all these great new friends, be independent from my family, and find this new great life that would never have been possible if I stayed in Jamestown, NY.

I never knew how great my childhood was though until I went to Calvin. I have had the same best friend since 2^nd grade and where ever I went there was someone I knew either through my friends or my family. I knew absolutely no one at Calvin, and I didn’t think of that before my parents drove off in the family mini van. I had never been homesick before in my life. I thought it was weird when my friends would cry at summer camp for their parents. Even my parents would get sentimental when I would do something by myself and I can still remember thinking, “what is wrong with you? I’m coming back.” A few weeks before Thanksgiving though I found myself yearning for Jamestown—the place I couldn’t wait to leave three months earlier.

            After Thanksgiving dinner my mom pulled me aside and said, “take your sister out to coffee. I’ll give you money, just go.” I looked at her and was thinking, “uh, okay sure I’ll spend your money.” It never occurred to me that my time away from home would affect anyone else besides me, but apparently my shy sister missed me. My sister Jen is two years younger than me and we have always shared a room (still do actually, when we are both home). I took her company for granted growing up though, and it never occurred to me that she would miss me. After that I realized how much my sister means to me and how much my past matters.

            Jamestown, NY is not an exciting place to grow up in, but in reality I had an excellent childhood. I was blessed in so many ways that I always took for granted. Throughout college I began to realize how richly God has blessed me. I have received everything I have wanted, within reason and maybe not in the timing I had intended, but God has been so faithful to my family and to me. Because of God’s faithfulness to me I have decided to be faithful in return. My experiences have made me a better person and have taught me very important lessons. Why should I run away from my past and away from the people who love me? I should be satisfied with what God has given me instead of always thinking the grass is greener on the other side. Challenges are opportunities to grow and learn, not punishment.

            This year has been the biggest test of that faithfulness, but I am convinced that I can do anything through Him that gives me strength. I knew deep down that it was God’s plan for me to attend Calvin College and it is in His plan for me to be in Memphis now. So although I did not have a movie worthy freshmen year or a transformational first year of teaching, I would not trade my experiences for the world. I did not have a typical college experience by any means and I was no Hillary Swank this year, but these experiences have taught me not to judge my life based on society’s expectations. I should be thankful for what I have because people have to make do with much less, and in reality the grass is not greener on the other side. What matters is that are you doing everything you can to be the best person you can be; and if you mess up for whatever reason how are you reflecting and learning from those mistakes?