you came along one day and rearranged my life

- Relient K

over the past months as I have been watching the economy plunger further and further into recession, it is been hard to feel optimistic.

optimism being one of the core aspects of who I am, these past few months I have felt kind of lost. I laugh and enjoy time spent with friends and family but I almost feel that I should not be enjoying myself.

another big problem I am not sure what to do about is that I hate the idea of capitalism. I do not think it is Biblical and therefore, I do not believe I can support it. Yet, it is a fundamental aspect of how this world is run. Capitalism affects everyone around me and every aspect of how our country is run. So then how can I choose not to support capitalism when it will negatively affect my neighbors all around me? If I do not go out and consume like a "good American" people all over the country will be in danger of loosing their job or have.

How do we restart an economy that is based on people spending money they cannot afford to spend and use up more resources that we cannot afford to use without substantially changing the environment and world we enjoy?

What is the answer?

I want to proclaim around on street corners the importance of using the blessings and gifts God has given us to help those less fortunate--to proclaim that we should all only live on the bare necessities and give the extras to those who need it most. Yet, I know that will not help jump start the economy and provide jobs for my loved ones.

So what do we do God? How do we get through this?

I think perhaps this recession will allow us to rethink how we do business, whether capitalism is really as great as many people think it is.

But I know that it is more likely that this recession will harden the hearts of the wealthy and cause all of us to become increasingly introspective and individualistic.

I hope that because the failing economy has been so wide spread, hurting wealthy and poor, that everyone around the world open their eyes to the reality of the gospel, and the intense need for the supportive community professed by Christ.

I guess I am really interested in seeing what we can do as a body of believers, as Christ's church, to help those in need and build everyone up.

When times were bad the Israelites cried out for their God to save them, will we do the same?

oh God hold me now, oh Lord touch me now

- Sufjan Stevens

So this is probably the second blog type account I have had. That is if you want to count my livejournal, which actually technically still exists. I am not sure why I feel compelled to make a new one, or save the old one for that matter. I'll blame sentimentality for now, easy enough scapegoat since words don't actually have feelings.

The title of this post probably does and does not actually describe this post accurately. It is part of the current Sufjan Stevens song I am listening to, and songs do tend to affect my mood--but taking a second look at the title I feel like I am making this out to be a cry for help, which it is not. Although generally, that phrase describes my life in a way.

Anyways, after pondering what caused me to spend just about half of my morning making this look pretty, and getting really frustrated and html code in the process, I realize I do have an explanation for the creation of this account. I find its fairly lame to post all your random musings on facebook, and not wanting to feel like a loser or that I am trying too hard has often hindered my gumption to put what I am thinking into words. Plus its what all the cool kids are doing right? Haha, like that even matters.

Until I feel inspired again.