first you must go walking on your own

-Alexi Murdoch

After a week of intense training here in HOT-lanta it is amazing the effort and drive all of these corps members have. Living on a college campus is interesting because it almost feels like I am a freshmen again, but this time I am surrounded by passionate, driven people who are constantly talking about lesson plans and behavior management.

I have gotten used to being only one of the few education majors in my friend group. While most of my friends at Calvin are having deep conversations about ethics, environmental sustainability, or international development I was pre-occupied with whether the assessments for my unit plan were aligned with the material being taught. Now, everyone around me is concerned about being the best teacher they can and it is amazing.

Beyond being surrounded by people who are also concerned with student achievement, it is also amazing the amount of work and learning that is taking place. I naively thought I would have much more of a grasp on the work I was expected to complete. I have written many lesson plans and executed them after all. The reality is, we always have something more to learn. I knew I was not an expert on lesson planning, otherwise I would not have signed up for TFA, but I did not expect it to be so difficult for me.

Reality smacked me in the face and reminded me, "Laura - you still have much to learn."

I may have started this journey alone, but it is reassuring to know I am no longer alone. All of us have a great deal to learn and we all want to help each other succeed because together we can achieve immeasurably more than we could on our own.

don't stop believin'

- Journey

There are things, people, situations that might get you down but this week and the coming weeks as a Teach For America 2011 corps member have taught me to continue to believe in my dream. This first week as a corps member is just the beginning and there are much harder times but there are still flashes of fear and uncertainty.

The thing that is important for me to remember is that every transition is exciting but it is exciting because it is completely new. I love the idea of something new but new means a level of discomfort that must be paired with patience.

Sometimes these experiences that test my level of comfort lead me to question my aspirations; but then I think of my students in Chicago, all the students I'll meet in Memphis and it becomes real again. It is more than what I feel comfortable with, it's about what NEEDS to happen. I can't stop believing that it is possible to close the achievement gap, especially when there are such huge statistics showing how effective teachers can be when they hold their students to high expectations.

Plus, now it is incredibly real because I actually have a school and an apartment. Memphis is now home, there is no turning back. I can't wait to meet my students at Raleigh Egypt Middle School and to work with my fellow TFA-ers to really affect change.

It may be the Kool-Aid, but I am really excited about the potential growth in Memphis. There are tons of work to be done but it needs to be done by someone, so why not by me? I cannot sit idly by knowing that I can make a huge difference in the world. Therefore, feeling uncomfortable, or even failing are necessary experiences in order to achieve this goal. I cannot let my fear and discomfort keep me from achieving this goal because that is temporary, but the change that possible can last a long time and beyond.